More bad, context-necessary jokes! For Jonolobster

I suck at blogging, weeks since I last posted anything. Watched “The Man Who Knew Too Little” after the coolest Google Plus Hangout with the “robots in my computer”. Wrote some jokes, but I realized it was pointless to tweet them at 3 AM. I sent my best stuff, at least what felt like my best stuff, to Jonolobster to read when he returns to Twitter today, whenever that may be but here are the rest.

One tiny request to anyone who reads this, any feedback on any of the jokes would be greatly appreciated.

Oh! It’s based on a book!

Wait when did I turn on Spaced?

This is a Saturday Night Live commercial for “virtual reality” games!

Bob just Flew into London before the wedding at the end.

Pretty high tech pay phone

Crime on Film: Third Degree Murder (The hitman deliberately killed those actors just because they irritated him! LOL)

The actor who got shot was in Doom with Dwayne Johnson!

Nice Clint Eastwood! Overpower those punks with moral superiority!

Spanish maid in London? #UnintentionalRacism

Dude just Shot a martini! Olive and all!

Styx song running through my head new. #Lorelei

“Whoa, that was loud!” Best gun joke EVER!

He’s got the Dalai Lama on his side, remember.

There is no way that mallet in the door Was written into the script.

I think he was holding two phones just now.

Wait, when did I turn on Doctor Who?

The Protestant Butcher is the name of my *

The Protestant Butcher is the name of my Jars of Clay cover band.

That is the best, fake, Alfred Molina mustache!

Slow Clap at the dead body is AMAZING!

“Tell him to “‘use a plunger or we’re sunk'” . #PoopJokeInASpyMovie

Only an asshole complains about his own acting in front of other actors. No winner he paid REAL MONEY for the experience.

He conveniently found the letters and then acted like an ASSHOLE! #TomCruiseInMissionImpossibleFive

Hitting on the hot chick, because as an actor he’s a ladies man. #Meta.COM

Driving on the left side of the road is an American fantasy, And Bill Murray showed us what it felt like.

“left side driving, sex joke,” beautifully shot as a sitcom smash cut

He’s a good driver, simply because he is American? Because British are stupid? Asshole. #ActualJoke

Worst. Russian. Accent. EVER.

I think this was an episode I of Archer!

Unsurprisingly, “Bobbies” have no patience.

“Is this actually a talking cigarette case?”

This movie is literally two people talking to each other without listening to each other!

Hooker talking the Finer points Of handcuffs with the cops. #MelBrooksJoke

American Secret Agent = Poor Actor #SamePerson

This is practically a Mel Brooks movie

He just ninja’ed that Kerplunk stick.

Just flashed back to Meatballs. #PigNose

Yep, that’s right, real actors bitch at each other mid scene.

Geriatric. S&M. #ActuallyHappened

Hey, I didn’t know I got the BBC.

Geriatric Bondage is the name of my age appropriate Sex Pistols cover band.

“There’s a hallway, we can walk there!” Peter just gave me a Chandler Bing impression.

“Time Out. TIME. OUT! I got something in my eye, Jack-off!” #RealBillMurrayQuote

Apparently part of this fantasy his brother paid for included saving a little boy from a sexual predator. #Acting

Japanese tourists! #ElevatorTheater

Gay, Theater joke In a Spy movie.

Insensitive Native cultural Joke… The dancing is? #AccidentalYoda

When did I turn on Tetris? #WhiteCultureMusicJoke

When did I turn on Tetris? #PopCultureMusicJoke (this is less racist)

“At the end of the day, there’s a guy with a big mustache standing behind you” -Peter Gallagher

Why did that explosion remind me of the guys from Trading Places In Coming to America?

He’s ironically reading the newspaper story to his “actress” girlfriend, like Connery would.


Recruited! World’s Best! Five a week, kids and old people once a week. He means to kill them, of course.

Hammy acting On the beach, to please a mad man.

Last of the Secret Agents by Nancy Sinatra. #NuffSaid


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