What follows below is the short tale I crafted last night from a Writing Prompt on Reddit. It isn’t much, but I tried to walk a balance between serious and lighthearted with my trademark sense of humor. After some serious consideration, I decided to share it with the rest of the internet but I think I may actually rework it into something bigger. I think this would make a great one-act play. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Nicholas sat in the empty jail cell with his head in his hands and wished he would just wake up. This morning he discovered one of the greatest scientific achievements of the last century; of the last millennium! And now he was in jail down at the Allen County lock-up. His wife, Connie, left him there. She was so embarrassed by his behavior, and he knows after previous meltdowns that he’s probably here for at least another 2 hours before she calms down… and comes and bails him out. He rubbed his chest where they had to pull the taser barbs out of his skin, it still itches like a motherfucker.
He began to wonder how crazy he must have sounded and he realized then that the alcohol content of Renaissance Era-ale was much higher than he thought. For Connie to have been yelling at him to calm down, he was definitely far drunker than he had been in a long time.
She didn’t have to kick me in the balls.
He wanted to sleep. A full taser blast, like you saw on TV, took a lot out of a person. But his mind was racing with all the cool places he would go to now. Especially the really cool and illegal places he could go.
About that moment, the cell block door at the end of the hallway opened and a deputy escorted Connie over to the cell to greet him as they let him out. She spoke very evenly. She’s pissed.
“I payed your bail. It’s gross in here; let’s go home.”
The deputy led them back to the front of the station where they returned his belongings and Connie and he left. She drove in silence until they were several blocks away and finally, as if she’d been holding her breath, blurted, “I saw your machine and I know it works and I believe you!”
Nick huffed, “Is that why you looked so pissed? I thought you were so embarrassed you couldn’t look at me.”
“I am still pissed because you embarrassed me, but I’m so excited I don’t care. This is too big of a discovery to let that bother me.”
They drove on home, excitedly discussing all the ramifications and possibilities. Neither of them noticed the three big black SUV’s parked across the street from their house. When they walked in the front door they were greeted by the sight of a man in a suit and half a dozen Secret Service agents in their dining room. The man in the suit beckoned to one of the agents and they were shuffled into seats. Once seated they were told vaguely passive-aggressive “truths” about national security and their responsibility as upstanding citizens. Finally when given an opportunity to speak, Nickolas asked the only question that hadn’t been answered by this important looking government official’s monologue.
“How did you know about my machine?” Nick asked.
“A phone video that captured your spontaneous arrival at the park today,” was the blunt response.
“A video taken at the fair caught my reentry and went viral?” Nickolas asked.
“No, a video taken on a phone that was flagged by our monitoring algorithm.” The G-man let that sink in for a moment then continued. “For reasons I can’t explain to you, we knew what the video captured was authentic. Mr. Hardy, you don’t realize what you’ve stumbled upon and it absolutely cannot get out. And now you’re both coming with me.”
Then two secret service agents stepped up behind them and pressed a stun gun to each of their necks. And for the second time in less than 6 hours, Nickolas lost consciousness to the sensation of his body seizing up… and his bladder evacuating.